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Hi i wrote up a planned gcse english language essay on 'explore the presentation of relationships in Of mice and men

 

HeyYesYou
Mar 04, 2013 11:19 AM

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Hi i wrote up a planned gcse english language essay on 'explore the presentation of relationships in Of mice and men

Could someone please grade my essay and tell me pointers that i can improve on/add

(Its english language so i dont use that much context)

Most appreciated

A black man at the time was unworthy of company. In chapter four a Black Migrant Worker named crooks is introduced. We see that he lives in the harness room a “little shed that leaned of the wall of the barn” separated from the others. Steinbeck cleverly shows that Crooks is inferior to the rest of the characters because he lives alone in a ‘shed’ close to the animals whereas the men live in a ‘bunkhouse’ able to socialise with one another. By situating his home near the animals degrades him depicting him to be an equal to the animals rather than the whites. He is forbidden to interact with the others apart from rare occasions where one Christmas “they let the *** come in” but it was too fight for entertainment rather than embrace the spirit of Christmas. We also see that his name has been replace with *** which Candy doesn’t mean as a deliberate insult but because racism at that time was permissible phrases like that were seen as normal although they could hurt the feelings of Others.

Women at the time were prejudicially isolated. Curley’s wife, like Crookes, is seen as a lesser being. Steinbeck cleverly doesn’t give her name but refers to her as being ‘Curleys wife’ to show the reader that she is curleys possession rather than his spouse that he uses her that way boasting to the others about his ‘glove fulla vaseline’ . this also explains why she’s always flirting with the ranch men, because Curley doesn’t give her enough attention to satisfy her. We also learn that the workers go into town to ‘susys place’. Curleys Wife’s flirtatious acts and the brothels illustrates that women weren’t seen as companion but only for pleasure. Additionally, She is often referred to as jailbait and tart by George and Candy. Steinbeck portrays her as being a danger to the men and deliberately gives her the quote ‘this country’s fulla mutts’. This can be seen as a metaphor that men can be easily replaced and shows that women like Curleys wife have no respect for the Hard work of men.

Both Crooks and Curley’s wife are discriminated against by the other characters. Their isolation has made them the two loneliest characters as Crooks tells Lennie that life is no good without someone to turn to in times of confusion and need. yet, even at their weakest, they seek to destroy those who are even weaker than they. Perhaps the most powerful example of this cruel tendency is when Crooks criticizes Lennie’s dream of the farm and his dependence on George.

Candy and his dog parallel the relationship of George and Lennie. Like Candy's dog, Lennie relies on George to take care of him and show him what to do. Candy’s dog has ‘blind old eyes’ and Lennie is ‘simpler minded’ these features show that Lennie and the dog do not see the world like the others which portrays their innocence in the predatory world they live in. Candy, like George, is different from the other ranch men because he has his dog as a constant companion, someone devoted and loyal to him.. However candy loses his relationship when unfeeling Carlson persists to put the dog down and Candy is forced to agree. This conveys Steinbeck’s ultimate message about relationships. They are transitory, bound to fail in the predatory world they live in. Moreover it adumbrates that Lennie is going to die as he resembled the dog. Candy handicapped and old realises that he, like his dog, has become useless and as curleys wife says ‘this countries fulla mutts’ Steinbeck uses his animal imagery here as a metaphor that America was full of Men eager to find a job vacancy.

George and Lennie have the most powerful relationship in the novel, As Lennie says numerous times ‘i got you an you got me’ They have each other in time where families were torn apart . All the other workers as Slim says ‘never give a damn about nobody’ because of the harsh world they live in as well as the First World War before the Great depression that brought about the mentality of ‘every man for himself’. George and Lennie are the opposite. They are cooperative in a competitive world which makes them so different. One of Steinbeck’s major themes in Of Mice and Men is dreams. Everyone has their own dream which is a fantasy that gives them hope. G+L share their dream which is to become free from the world they live in. There dream is also unreal as later on we find out that George used the dream to keep Lennie happy. Despite this, the dream indirectly shows that all they desire is each other company which they have already achieved. "With us it ain’t like that. We got a future. If them other guys gets in jail they can rot for all anybody gives a damn. But not us."We see that Lennie needs George to guide him but Steinbeck subtly shows by using the pronouns ‘we’ and ‘us’ that George also needs Lennie as obviously being a duo is the key element that makes them so unique.

Their relationship is omnipotent and suggests that even fate cannot stop them when they are together. When Lennie faced threats like the girl from weed and curleys vicious assault, George helps him to escape these problems. While this is occurring as the novella goes on Steinbeck uses a lot of animal imagery to represent a key theme death most commonly associated with Lennie. It all adds up when in Chapter 5 Lennie is alone unable to control himself and as a result accidently kills Curleys Wife. Steinbeck Ingeniously builds up to this gradually throughout the previous chapters leaving subtle symbols that their friendship was doomed to be annihilated from the start. This correlates with Candy who too had lost his relationship with his dog as well as G+L dream. This repetitive tragedy make the reader realise ‘the best laid schemes Of mice and Men often go awry’ Which Steinbeck used to give the name to the book and ultimately indicates that in a world so Predatory not even relationships, the nature of human existence will help you survive where the law ‘survival of the fittest’ is made compulsory.

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judy t #197809
Mar 04, 2013 12:34 PM

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In my opinion, you are "all over the map" about this question. You lack an introductory paragraph which tells the reader what your point of view is and why you are writing the paragraphs you are writing. You describe many different relationships; the question asks you about the presentation of the relationships, so you should focus on that. For example, you have a section about "relationships of a superior to a subordinate, either by virtue of work relationship or because of a cultural bias against members of a different race or sex." You need to combine those relationships into one idea using several examples.

You also have many, many, many spelling, punctuation, etc., errors. You cannot use single quotes unless they are found inside of double quotes.

You should also have a conclusion which explains to the reader where your essay has gone and what conclusions you have drawn.
 

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