Marriage (Poem)

Marriage (Poem) Themes

The Problem of Marriage

The entire poem is Moore's attempt to work through what the problems of marriage are. She wonders why two people would link themselves together in such a public fashion if it is impossible to put aside self-love and truly meet another's needs. Love and passion are fundamentally mysterious feelings, and their presence does not necessarily guarantee that a union will be successful. Furthermore, the rules that accompany marriage seem a burden, and women are doomed to have a more difficult time of it given their subordinate social position. Married people become apathetic, weary, indifferent; they rarely want to or understand how to sacrifice. They approach marriage with erroneous assumptions and do not know that it is impossible to have both liberty and union.

Men and Women

Both men and women are selfish, come to marriage with ridiculous expectations, and are unwilling to sacrifice enough to make marriage work. However, men are depicted in Moore's poem as being slightly more absurd, arrogant, and self-interested. As embodied by Adam, they are in love with the sound of their own voice, lack perspicacity, and revel in their position of power (that they often make people feel). They want beautiful wives but denigrate women's other characteristics, not realizing that they too are ridiculous in their preening and petulance.

Passion

One of the reasons why people enter into marriage is because they experience a great passion. Moore is very aware of this, and her lines regarding Adam and Eve in Eden are very useful in allowing the reader to see this. In the garden full of "incandescent stars" and "incandescent fruit" there is the "strange experience of beauty" that "tears one to pieces." The heart rises as one experiences the pangs of love. However, passion will soon fade (the woman "leaves her peaceful husband / only because she has seen enough of him") and it will make the torture of being trapped in an inherently flawed institution all the more bitter.

Speaking, Writing, and Words

Speaking and writing are actions that denote power and self-identity; thus, Adam and Eve endeavor to speak and write as much as possible to exert their will and their self. Eve writes in three languages and can talk at the same time; she withholds her words from Adam (the nightingale) to vex him. She both demands a commotion and stipulates quiet, observing the power words hold. Adam is "alive with words" and talks volubly, coming to find a "solemn joy / in seeing that he has become an idol." He speaks about all manner of things regardless of whether or not he understands them or understands their impact.

Sacrifice

While Moore spends most of the poem discussing the reasons why marriage is flawed and absurd, at the very end she does concede, at least obliquely, that there could be successful marriages. She comes at this thusly: "One sees that it is rare— / that striking grasp of opposites / opposed to each other, not to unity." This slim chance of having a good marriage comes from sacrifice, from always working and compromising and trying. Critics Keller and Miller write, "Moore defines the ideal marriage in terms of ongoing opposition. This is disputation at its best...Determining for one's self the steps necessary to create a successful marriage, Moore suggests, is more triumphant, and perhaps more difficult, than being the first to attempt sailing to India [Columbus]—and what one discovers in such a marriage may be the equivalent of a new world."