Samson Young
He is the terminally ill narrator of the novel, who has been suffering from a writer's block for roughly two decades.
Keith Talent
He is a small time criminal who regularly abuses his wife and cheats on her. Despite his name, Talent is shown with no redeeming qualities: he cheats, abuses, gambles and drinks. He is also addicted to pornography.
Nicola
She is the "murderee". Nicola essentially plays with the entire list of characters to achieve her end. Her greatest fear is that of ageing.
Kath
She is the wife of Keith Talent who is regularly abused and cheated on by him; Kath plays a largely passive role in this story.
