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In this chapter Dede concedes that she was both similar and dissimmilar to her sisters. All of the sisters followed their husbands leads, Dede's husband was the only husband who didn't get involved...... thus, she didn't get involved.
Dede takes a lot of flack for not supporting her sisters, and that's the thing that would make her different; she was the only UNINVOLVED sister, but still, each of the sisters followed the lead of their husbands. I think that means that Jaimito was really the "different" one.
In The Time of Butterflies