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I think there is a sense of bitterness against Miss. Havisham. "We are not free to follow our own devices, you and I," says Estella, meaning that she has been given instructions for the day and they must not deviate from them. The statement, however, is a projection of how both their lives are controlled in general.
Estella is not free "to follow her own devices" not only because Miss Havisham is her adoptive mother and she should do as she says, but because Estella has been raised to actually think, feel, and act exactly as Miss Havisham wishes. In raising Estella, Miss Havisham created a puppet, an individual who indeed cannot choose her own destiny because she will act that way she has been conditioned to act.