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Yes, Estella is completely justified in the argument she has with Ms. Havisham. Havisham wants the one thing from Estella she has groomed her to not have, love. Estella is incapable of loving...... even her foster mother. It isn't a matter of retribution, it is a matter of fact. Learning to love requires love..... Estella never got love, she received lessons the necessity of keeping herself a part, of withholding affection and the love she'd never known. I think her treatment of Havisham was to be expected.