Ender's Game

why does Graff make Ender isolated from his family and the other boys? What lessons is Graff trying to teach Ender?

The course to train as a starship comander will last ten years without vacations or visitors. Ender agrees to the traning. Aboard the shuttle launch with 19 other boys, Graff makes an object lesson of him and intentionally made the others hate him. Graff pretends to dislike Ender, who feels friendless.

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Graf needs Ender to think for himself and not rely on emotional or practical support from anyone. They need Ender to be able to lead these boys into war and not rely on anybody else for support.

Graff and the powers in charge have all their hopes on Ender. He has to stand a part from the others. Ender has to be emotionally and intellectually self sufficient if they are going to win their war. Ender needs to have the maturity of a seasoned adult commander . Isolating Ender forces him into these stressful situations to see how he handles them.