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Ender has the self discipline to walk away from conflict that has little meaning. Bonzo, for example, pushes Ender many times. Finally when Ender sees that violence is now expected from the higher ups, and he has been pushed past his breaking point, Ender not only defends himself but makes a statement as well. Disarming and inadvertently killing Bonzo was the coping mechanisms that Graff and the others were looking for. This would help Ender achieve the top position in the long run.