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“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.” -Ender Wiggin
Ender knows that he can defeat his enemies, and he can do that by understanding them better than anyone, but unlike Peter, when he understands them he starts to love them. It is then painful for him to destroy them. While Peter crushes what stands in his way without a second thought, Ender does not feel the same way. Ender is unconcerned with ambition or power, and unlike Valentine, would be content to live a normal life. However, he loves his sister, and, along with her, the rest of humanity. Because of this conflict, Ender has no choice but to go to I.F. command and prepare to fight the buggers. He is aware that he risks destroying himself, for he will again be forced to give in to his destructive side—Ender must act like Peter once more. It will be painful and the risks are great, but there is nothing that Ender would not do for Valentine. In the end it is his love that makes him strong enough to go on, and that forever separates him from Peter, who would not do anything for love. Ender hates himself because he is like Peter, and now his sister, the one person he truly loves, is asking him to go back to being like Peter in order to save her life. It is a tremendous personal sacrifice for Ender to leave earth, but for Valentine he will even destroy himself.