What did violet mean when she said "what a terrible feeling to love someone and not be able to help them ".

Violet has been severely affected by the death of her older sister Eleanor and does not cope well. She becomes a shell of the person she once was, alienates herself and does her best to stay under the radar. Her parents do not deal with the loss of their daughter out in the open, which frustrates Violet. The feelings, emotions and guilt that accompany the loss of a loved one drastically change characters in the book. Even Finch and his family must deal with his father leaving the for another family. His mother does not handle the abandonment well and becomes oblivious to her son’s problems. After Finch's death, Violet copes better than she did after her sister died. She is still sad, but knows that life must go on and does not repeat the grieving process she went through with Eleanor. Violet really wished that she could have helped her sister.