Chapter 13. Which of his friends did Ishmael lose in their first real battle with rebels? Why does he feel guilty about it?

Beah discovers that his trigger finger is numb and he cannot fire his weapon. Beah’s other tent-mate, Josiah, is knocked onto a tree trunk by an RPG shell, breaking his back. Beah also sees Musa, dead from a head wound. At this moment, Beah manages to fire his.

Beah is unable to open fire on another human being even though he is ordered to do so. Only when his friend and tent-mate are killed does he realize the lives at stake and he is then able to open fire on the rebels.