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The children are brought up by the party. Parents are merely figureheads that have no control over what the kids do or learn. Consider the Parsons children who run around screaming war anthems ever a threat to their parents or anybody else that strikes them as a spy or a traitor. We can only hope that the parent child bond is stronger than that in our society. We seek to guide our kids and instil our value systems in them. The kids in 1984 are brainwashed into the fascist ideology of the state.