Examine and analize why Winston thinks of being shot after he accepts the rule of the Party and begins to love Big Brother?

Winston has always fantasized about death. He longs for the party to shoot him in the head. By the end of the novel, Winston has purged his sick thoughts. O'Brien has cured him of his resistence to the party: he is pure again. Now Winston longs for his ultimate reward from the party,

He is back in the Ministry of Love, with everything forgiven, his soul white as snow. He was in the public dock, confessing everything, implicating everybody. He was walking down the white-tiled corridor, with the feeling of walking in sunlight, and an armed guard at his back. The long-hoped-for bullet was entering his brain.